I get it that the dating scene is hard. Finding someone to have a relationship requires being in the right place at the right time and finding a certain chemistry. I know you have put yourself out there only to be shot down and it soured you and I get it.

I put myself out there several times back in the day. Liking someone who does not feel the same is a tough pill to swallow. The one thing I have learned over the years is this:

Never ever, ever pursue a person you work with.

Just don’t.

I cannot stress it enough. This is a headache you do not want in your life. I don’t care if she gives all the signals that she wants to go out with you. Just make it a policy not to date anyone you work with. If she asks you out, politely decline with the understanding that you do not date people you work with directly. You can tell her that if she should leave the company or you do, then ask again.

The climate is so iffy in terms of harassment and gestures which appear to be flirtatious to you, but can be interpreted as unwelcome advances to them.

A hug in the workplace? Nope. Don’t.

Someone wants a shoulder massage? Tell them to make an appointment with their local spa. Do not engage.

New hot someone wants to go out to lunch with you? Invite witnesses along to keep it professional.

Flirtatious talk? Just pretend you did not hear it and do not reply. Something you say could be considered offensive to those around you or even the instigator and you could be reported to human resources.

What happens when dating occurs in the workplace? Nothing bad at first except those you work with may be uncomfortable knowing you two are a thing. That can be construed as a hostile work environment for the bystanders. They could complain.

If you are both in competing roles, it could be uncomfortable for the both of you if one gets a promotion over the other.

And if you break up, let me tell you that is a load of discomfort having to face them day in and day out if you harbor ill will over the breakup.

Some workplaces have a no dating policy and it is for good reason. To keep the HR issue count low. They do not want the drama and neither should you.

What happens if you meet “the one” and you really want to pursue the relationship but you work with them? Ask yourself, are you willing to leave your job for a new one so you can ask them out?

Can you transfer out of the environment to still work at the company but just distant enough that the relationship will not be direct? Different office/division/district?

The only reason your Dad and I worked was because he worked in an office in another building in another part of town. We worked for the same company, just not together where our relationship was public. There was no constant day in and day out interaction. I think that is the only way that a workplace relationship would work if there wasn’t a “no fraternizing” policy.