You won't get too far in life without this one key principle –
If you want respect, you have to give respect.
I've seen some disturbing aspects of your personality which I'm astounded because I didn't raise you this way. But when you want to get your point across, you have to allow yourself to hear others' points of view –
- Even if it differs from your own
- Even if that person has misinterpreted what you said
- Even if that person is misinformed
You respect them and give them a chance to speak.
Relationships are give-and-take. If you want to good relationships you must be willing to meet them halfway. If you cannot do that, all of your relationships will be broken, damaged, or simply not there. One cannot survive on superficiality.
I listen to your remarks to others with words like "stupid" or "ignorant" and I'm shocked. All I can think is that the receiving end of those words regard you as close minded, hotheaded and disrespectful. They will close off to you because they feel they cannot speak to you. Like I do.
If you want someone to listen to you you must allow them to respond, to react, to offer input. Even if you simply want to vent, they're going to want to give you some supportive commentary or give you another point of view to you calm you down. They may even want to give you some perspective -a story of their own to share so you may see a different solution. You've got to give people value.
The less you give in respect the less you receive. It's a road of bitterness and loneliness and heartache if you continue this path. I only say this because I know.
You may think you know everything at this point in your life, but I can tell you from experience, you don't. You're constantly growing. You're constantly evolving. What you think you value now is not what you're going to value 10 years from now.
I had a lot to say in our conversation tonight that I was not allowed to say that I felt was valuable for you in your frustration –to hear constructive ways to solve your issue. I believe that I have enough life experience to help you advance your career and improve working relationships if you would only let me share.
For example: You're in a shit job assignment right now and although it seems like you may be stuck there forever, you're not. My coworkers had heard about the can assignment and felt only positive that could come from this; which is more experiences and more opportunities if you do well. The more times you say "Yes" the more times you will get opportunities. You can't look at these as punishments. You have to look at these as putting your time in and doing your best to shine in the eyes of your employer. You want to become irreplaceable. Some aspects of your job will be humbling and it will challenge your pride. Go at these with determination and dependability and you will be rewarded.
If you feel that you are at a dead end and you know people who were there who got out you ask them how. Network with the people in the positions where you want to go so you can get there too. If you remain negative and resolute in the fact that your stuck, you will be stuck.
Your attitude is everything and people notice positive attitudes and reward those. If you are negative and complain they noticed that too and they will not reward. They will ignore you. You can be like the other guy and quit but then you shut the door and burn a bridge and that looks bad for your future work experience. You need to overcome challenges with a go-getter attitude to get far.
The thing is there are hundreds maybe even thousands of people just like you who can do that job and maybe do it better than you and you can be replaced. That has to be in the back of your mind every day you walk into work. You need to be able to demonstrate to your superiors that you are worthy of this job and any other job task they assign you.
Just because this job is a grocery store position and you feel it's beneath you; it is a job. It pays you money you probably can't get by sitting in the basement playing Overwatch. Your work history is your reputation. When called for references, your prior employers will speak about the kind of worker you are. You want to behave in a way every day that assures that that recommendation will be glowing.